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Ask Me Anything, Part 1

I told my Facebook friends they could ASK ME ANYTHING, and ask they did!

Here are my answers to five of the most-liked questions. I’ll answer another five in next week’s post!

1. Can I touch your butt?
Perhaps. Consent is a prerequisite, and will be determined on a case-by-case basis.

2. What is your biggest fear?
Death. The death of loved ones. My own death. I was traumatized by death at a young age and have spent the rest of my life living in fear of losing those I love, as well as voraciously pursuing a full and exciting life of my own, because frankly, I’m always afraid that I could die today.

3. How did you build your following to the point that you have it now?
This is one of my favorite topics! The theory and psychology of social media fascinates and excites me–I think because internet success depends so deeply on your ability to engage as a writer, and writing is my wheelhouse, my natural talent. When I’m operating on social media, I operate under one principal: be the person at the party that everyone wants to be around. Complaining, inside jokes, self-aggrandization, sales pitches? That shit turns people off. No one wants to be around that person. So, what kind of content do folks want to engage? Well–people love talking about themselves, right? So I started asking questions on my status updates, giving folks a platform and my audience and a chance to speak their truths. People dig that shit. People also dig interesting, beautiful photos–so I post those, too. I’m always paying attention to how folks respond. My goal is to serve my audience. Whether that’s through thought-provoking posts, pretty pictures, or funny videos–I want to give the people what they want and what they need.

4. If you couldn’t do any of this anymore, what new career path would you choose & why?
One day I won’t be able to do a lot of this anymore, because much of my work depends on my body, and I’m not getting any younger. I’m already injured all to hell. So I’m setting up my life for this inevitability. I already have a plan for what’s next, and what’s next is authorship. I would love to publish my memoir through a major publisher, then move on to writing novels. Honestly, that has always been my dream, even as a girl–to write books when I grew up. I want to be able to walk into Barnes and Noble and buy my own books.

5. How do you reconcile the sex trades commoditization of women with feminism?
Great question, and one I encounter the most frequently in interviews. How do I reconcile the sex trade’s commoditization of women with feminism? I don’t. I don’t attempt to frame sex work as inherently feminist, although it benefited me as an individual greatly. The strip club is the churning gut of patriarchy. You work sex, and you will tap dance for the Man. However–don’t so many of the troublesome misogynistic power dynamics we associate with sex work also exist in other professional spaces? My friend works a high-powered office job and deals with her own set of misogynistic abuses, for example. While gender dynamics are brought into high relief in the sex trade, usually at a higher intensity than the microaggressions “normal” women experience every day, I think that marking sex work as particularly anti-feminist draws from a long history of demonizing female sexuality, and I find that problematic. Strippers are not the problem. A culture that creates an environment in which a woman’s physical offerings are of greater value than anything else she brings–that’s the problem.

More ASK ME ANYTHING questions and answers coming at ya next week!

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