I’ve had a lot of fun answering y’all’s ASK ME ANYTHING questions–here’s the final five answers!
6. Would your husband be cool with you having a girlfriend on the side?
I plead the fifth.
7. Can you pinpoint a moment in your life, that influenced the woman and feminist teacher you are today
So many moments….
I’ll speak on just one pivotal moment that I feel is relevant today’s cultural climate. When I was working on my PhD, I took a class taught by a professor named Dr. Elizabeth West. She was a black activist and revolutionary thinker with her middle finger to the law. Pulled no fucking punches.
I grew up with racism. Many of the influential people of my youth were racists–that was almost status quo in the time and place I come from, Danville, Virginia in the 1980s. However, while I sensed it, felt it, I never really understood it: white supremacy in America. The history. The way racial injustice makes up the fabric of our nation. America is literally built on racial injustice.
Dr. West was the person to open my eyes to that. She taught me the real history of America. She showed me perspectives my education had kept from me. I finally understood, as much as a white girl can understand, the actual reality of racial injustice in America.
This turned me into an intersectional feminist and an infinitely more nuanced and compassionate thinker.
8. Do you remember when you experienced your “A-Ha” moment? The moment actually realized what your destiny was what needed to be done to get there.
Yep. I was on my first Stripcraft tour. I was in the Midwest. Counting my earnings after the first stop on the tour in a dark hotel room while my husband slept. Realized I had already almost reached my goal earnings for the entire tour–and I still had five more locations to hit. Realized I had totally underestimated myself. I checked my phone, and the internet was already blowing up with love–all these heartfelt compliments. I woke up my husband and told him, “Dude, I think this shit might work out.” That was about a year and a half ago, and damned if I won’t right. Most fulfilling, most successful, work of my life. Never been happier.
9. What have you learned about yourself as you have transitioned away from working in strip clubs? I assume that being away from it has allowed you to turn down some emotional defenses and become introspective in ways that have not happened until recently.
Now that I’m done for the most part–out of the game except for the occasional private entertainment for very special clients–I’m realizing two things: 1) how much trauma I encountered in this field and how deeply those experiences have molded me; and 2) how much I loved so many aspects of that life, and how deeply stripperlife will always call to me. It’s an interesting dichotomy, which I work out on my podcast. I often feel that my stories vacillate between love songs and eulogies.
10. In your most recent episode of Stripcast you shared your experience at a bachelor party and how you were able to make every man in there feel as if he was the only man in there, despite being surrounded by other men. Any tips to establish intimacy and engage your audience in a short amount of time? Any words of wisdom on magnetism would be greatly appreciated.
It’s a switch you turn on. An attitude. An embodied energy. It’s all about the energy. So when I’m entertaining someone, I’m not particularly concerned with the technicality of my movement–I’m experienced enough to be confident in that arena. Instead, I’m focusing my attention on tapping into an emotion, a desire, an authentic replication of me wanting you. I make sure that whomever I’m entertaining sees me look them up and down as if I want them, desire them. Few things turn people on more than feeling desired. All the tricks in the world ain’t shit if you can’t convince ‘em that you want ‘em.