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I Failed Publicly And I’ve Never Felt Better!

Stop fucking worrying about your goddamn public appearance and get real about the work you should be doing.

If you follow me on social media, then you probably already know that I have pulled The Take. This means there will be no social network for women materializing under my leadership.

Firstly, I want to thank you so very much for your support. It means the world to me. However, I lack the resources both financially and otherwise to execute this project and deliver the product you deserve. Watch the video below for more details:

Now that all that official info is out of the way, lemme hit ya with one of the many lessons I have learned in this six-month long endeavor:

Click here to watch. 

Your resources are limited and you owe it both to yourself and the world to invest those resources in the direction of your greatest brilliance, usefulness, and joy.

I’mma tell you about my experience and you can let me know if you relate.

Late last year, I made an offhand post about starting a social media network for women. My oldest friend and successful professional Lauren texted me, like, yo homie, let’s actually do this, and at first I laughed, because how could a couple of tech outsiders without a fortune create such a lofty project, and then I stopped laughing and texted back, If you’re serious, so am I.

She was, and so was I.

In those first months, we were brimming with creativity and enthusiasm. We rented a cabin in the woods and begin a long cycle of working our asses off to make this network a reality.

We always knew this would take a lot of labor, money, and would also inevitably bring heat on me as the public face of the project, as everyone has an opinion, and many of them are not friendly.

“I’m not sure that ‘woman’ is an identity we need to be supporting right now,” one fellow feminist informed me.

For example.

I literally can’t with that shit–but that’s a topic for another day.

Regardless, we were up for the challenge! We were going to raise $100k and make this shit happen!

Yet the deeper we got, the more money we sank into this project, the more time we spent pushing to materialize The Take, the more it became apparent to me:

For a number of important reasons, we do not have the resources to complete this project in a way that does justice to my beloved community.

Moreover, I realized, even if we did have the resources–

Fuck, holmes. I had already gone from a lifestyle that enabled me to write my memoir like a part-time job and build these epic and complex and life-changing retreats like my other part-time job, and together, those two jobs make for a full-ass week, every week–

To a lifestyle consumed with creating The Take.

Tasks that are involved in creating The Take include but are not limited to:

Working with lawyers for hours. Marketing a gala. Creating shit tons of content, copy, imagery for promotion. Promotion. Promotion. Promotion. Doing political dances. Attempting to please all factions of humankind. Choosing every word carefully as fuck. Rounding my edges. Investing financially again and again and again. Nonetheless being subject to actual campaigns framing me as a capitalist exploiter of women with this project. Having to respond–or not to respond, which is the best diplomatic move for The Take, here?–to these false accusations.

Fuckin-A, dude, the heat is on, and it’s goddamn exhausting.

Here’s what I was not doing while I was working on The Take:

Creating art. Writing my book. Focusing on my retreats, the experiences I’m gonna give the women who goddamn love me. Focusing on my community who has supported me since day fucking one.




One afternoon, I talked with my dear friend Marf from across the pond in jolly old England–another one of the many gifts this community has given me: friends all over the world–and I told her how I felt. My time no longer devoted to my passions. My energy spent on the wrong people, in the wrong directions, with the wrong fucking vibe. Shit feeling negative as hell. “At the end of the day,” I told her, “I’m sticking with this project because I don’t want to disappoint anyone, and I don’t want to fail in front of everyone.”

“These are not good enough reasons to continue,” she responded. “The question is–what do you want to be doing?”

That was the moment I made my decision.

So listen, here’s the lesson:

Are you devoting tons of energy into something for the primary reason of looking good in front of others? Are you doing what you’re doing because you’re afraid you’ll disappoint the world outside if you change your path? Here’s some fucking news, pal. No one in the world is affected by what you choose to do more than you are. These eyes that you think are clocking your every move? They aren’t. You’re imagining them. And even if they are? Their opinions on your life do not matter more than your own. Have compassion for others, but not at the expense of compassion for yourself.

Unless you are doing the work that ignites your soul–you are doing a disservice not only to yourself but to those you’re so concerned with pleasing, as well.

And speaking of doing work that ignites your soul…

STRIPCOVEN SALEM launches next week!

Experience true New England as you spend five nights in a cottage on the rocky Maine coast…take a day-trip alongside a gaggle of (actual) feminist witches through old Salem as we visit spine-tingling locations and learn the real history of the witch trials…enjoy an evening on a private sailboat…get your bibs ready for a lobster boil…and get plenty of personal attention at my most intimate retreat to date with only 10 spots available–two of which have already been snagged by gala ticket purchasers as a thank-you for their support. That means there are only EIGHT SPOTS available for this high-demand retreat that is sure to be one of my best yet. Damn, I’m excited about this one…

If you want to be on the very first list of folks considered for this retreat, hit reply with the subject line, SALEM PLEASE!

Until then, I remain,
Yours in counterculture feminism and beyond,


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