Life Is Fine–And That Sucks
You’re bored. Unfulfilled. Numb. I can help.
Hey, girl. I get it.
You did the thing. You made the accomplishments. You got the degree, or the job, or the family, or a combination of these or other landmarks that you felt certain would make you feel whole. And yet–here you are–feeling…
Frankly, kinda bored?
You want to feel alive.
You want to stop sleepwalking through your life.
That brilliant firecracker you put on the shelf back in 2007–or was it 2012?–or maybe you never took her off the shelf at all? You know she’s in there. She never died; she only went inside, and now she’s looking for any excuse to get out, any crack to let her through. She’s the one dancing in the mirror when she has the house to herself. She’s the one singing her heart out in the shower when she gets a moment alone. She’s the tiny, burning flame that animates your spirit–and yet, you bring her out to play so infrequently, you’re left wondering–
That woman–Is she still in there? Because I don’t know.
Sis. I’ve been there. I get it.
I once lived a life that numbed me. Things were totally fine–and that sucked. I was an academic for most of my adulthood, forcing myself into a role that did not fit my talents or my desires but rather what I perceived as the world’s expectations. In the meantime, I was also an exotic dancer, working in strip clubs across the South from 1999 until 2016. Everything was…okay. Holding it together. But…was I writing creatively, dancing for pleasure, making music, inspiring the homies? Nah. My passions, the things that brought me to life…
Hell. I’d buried ‘em so deep I thought they might be dead.
Stripping, like academia, had run its course in my life by the time I turned thirty and realized with a start: I am not living the life I want.
With this awakening–and much tortured deliberation–I quit both my careers–as a university instructor and an exotic dancer–to pursue a career as Lux ATL.
I no longer wanted to teach Freshman Composition. I no longer wanted to hustle lap dances. I wanted to travel the world helping women learn to love themselves, and I wanted to do so by combining my expertise in feminist philosophies and sensual movement. I wanted to preach. I wanted to dance. I wanted to write. I wanted to create community. I wanted to change women’s lives. I wanted to recognize my gifts and stop at nothing to see them thrive.
I wanted to live life on my own terms, with no shame, no fear, no apologies, just love.
And I want the same for you.
Over the last year, as I’ve been going through lots of changes yet again, I’ve been thinking a lot about this transformation–what to call it, how to characterize it. After working with my girl Michelle to clarify my message, I finally nailed it down.
I call this personal transformation…
The Forbidden Revival.
The Forbidden Revival refers to the moment, or moments, in which we say “fuck it” to what we’re “supposed” to do, and instead pursue that which makes us feel alive. This change is “forbidden” because we feel as though we’re not allowed to create this new reality, and we are afraid of the consequences should we follow through with the transformation we so desire. This change is a “revival” for two reasons: one, because you are coming back to life, and two, because the experience is not unlike the transformative feeling conjured by a good old-fashioned tent revival–minus the religious aspect, of course.
Imagine a sacred space where women come together to name their desires and tune back in to what they really want in life!–
That’s exactly what I create–with my retreats, my upcoming retreat samplers (StripTease FTW!!!!!), *and* more new offerings that I’m about to hit y’all with real soon!
If you were living life on your own terms, what would that look like? What would change? What would you sacrifice? What would you gain? What does *your* Forbidden Revival look like?